“Parity translates to mediocrity. It doesn’t translate to excellence.” - Bruce Arena (2014)

You know, it’s kind of easy to imagine why the coach of the Los Angeles Galaxy might feel that way. After all, circa 2014, they were still the biggest club around, flexing their money advantage as much as the rule book would allow them and maybe sometimes just a little bit more. The Galaxy were more or less a lonely yacht moored in a league mostly populated by the kind of boat owned by upper middle class hobbyists. Those boats that are often neglected, dock fees piling up, the owners wondering if this thing is actually worth any of the hassle.

And to be clear, I don’t think he’s wrong. The boat he found himself the captain of in the middle of 2019 was a result of that parity. Mediocre was a charitable way to describe the mess Bruce inherited following the bizarre and disastrous tenure of Brad Friedel, a captain who motivated his crew by holding a can of gasoline and waving around a torch.